Torn .

For a while there i didn't think i'd be returning to VCU this semester. It was the most confusing emotion i've ever felt. I didn't want to go back, cause when i'm there all i do is struggle. There are some good times, but i struggle with classes && finances && friendships. Then i thought about not going back, and i started crying [lol]. It was like i didn't want to go or stay, but i can't help but feel sad when i think about either choice. Sooo it all comes down to this. The uncles called me && cursed me out. However, they are hustling up 3k to get me back in school. I guess it just goes to show that somebody out there believes in me, && God isn't going to let me ruin this blessing as well. Hopefully it all works out. For a second there all i could think about how broke i was and how hard it is w/out money. But all college students are broke, so i just need to shut the fuck up about that one . && then i got to thinking about a friend of mine in college, who i won't name, but SHOULD cause she's fantastic. She has no car, but she's living off campus (paying all of her bills), working a job (which she walks too daily, and she's lost madd weight and i think its from all that walking she does), and is a hectic interior design student ! She always makes the best of her situation, && she is a strong female ! I need to hang with her because i need to surround myself with people like that more often ! I don't know when i got so siddity, or felt that i was entitled to certain stuff, cause i'm really not. And why cant i just do it myself? I'm 21. i should be able to do it myself ... && i'm going to .