suicide .

i was just reading about this grad school student, who was days away from his graduation in which he would have got his dentistry degree and he committed suicide . ??????????? wtf !? why do people commit suicide ?? that has to be the weakest, most selfish thing ever. It's never as bad as you think! TIME heals ALL wounds, and looking back, you laugh, cause it was never as bad as it seemed at the time, and he killed himself when he had everything going for him? okay now i'm just confused, and a little bit irritated. his poor family .

dreams of chi-town .

niggas can't sleep these days .
&& by niggas i mean moi .
so for now at night i can't get any shut eye, cause i'm dreaming of getting on a plane && carrying my ass.
once school is finished , i'm out .
idc if i have to stay in a 100 sqft, walkup apartment, w/ no laundry, or AC.
i'm going, && i can't wait another day :)
2 1/2 more years of VCU =/
there's so much more to life then VA.
sooo many people don't understand me, or why i'm so eager to leave.
i mean i'm a curious soul, i get bored easily && i've milked VA for all its worth.
For people wanting to live a normal life, VA is where it's at.
But for those who want to live an exciting life, VA aint it .
Maybe once i get to the city life i'll upgrade to NYC for a while, or LA...
you only got one life :)
&& the sky is the limit .

Kanye Press Conference in New Zealand

omg . i've watched this THREE times ! Besides having too much damn time on my hands, he has a metaphor for EVERYTHING && i can relate to everything he says . He is a beast, a musical genius, and nobody is touching him right now. I am surprised at the amount of criticism and backlash for this album, but its truly authentic && its ALL him. Love this dude here <333

i'm so Bossy, Bitch get off me .

another Kid Cudi video showin off his soulful talent . he can sing too ? Also get a good lil view of his dimps !! lmaooo. love this newcomer . he never ceases to amaze me . can't wait to see what else he got :)

Best Cities to Live and Work

Business Week came out with their rankings of the best and worst cities to live and work in the U.S. Without further ado, where we go:

Best Cities to Live and Work

1. New York
2. San Diego
3. San Francisco
4. Las Vegas
5. Los Angeles
6. Seattle
7. Denver
8. Phoenix
9. Chicago
10. Boston

Worst Cities to Live and Work

1. New York
2. Detroit
3. Los Angeles
4. New Orleans
5. Chicago
6. Washington D.C.
7. Las Vegas
8. Cleveland
9. Dallas
10. Miami

Apparently cities like New York, LA, and Chicago have love/hate relationships going on. All i know is small town life isn't for me. I could see myself in any of these places actually and maybe Charlotte N.C., Austin TX, or Milwaukee WI as well. Only time will tell. Va beach is where my heart is and always will be, maybe i'll return when i'm a retiree :)

6 City Tour :(

is it coming to VA !? NOOOOOO !!! :(

shame shame shame.

i would pay big money to see colin munroe, kid cudi, wale, && Mark ronson...

i want to go to NY now .

va$htie kola .

This chick is about her business . && already has done so much @ only 24 yrs old . i never had a role model [besides Alicia Keys , lol] before, but i think i have one now :) Google her ! [&& she's done more then date Pharell , lol ]

Colin Munroe - Unsung Hero Mixtape

aww fuddy duddy && shitter didders !! can't wait . Dec 01, 2008 .

iTunes 8 ball ... [PATRON]

okay ... the directions told me to take these questions, put my iTunes on shuffle to answer them. && The results were :

1.What is your motto?
Street lights : Kanye West
“Things aint always set in stone, that be known, let me know…” <---I’ll choose that, lol.

2.What do your friends think of you?
I’m Mikey : The Cool Kids
Hmm, this one’s tough…I’ll just say
I’m Melieka, I…I…I rock . lol.
Yeahh they think I’m fly, lol.

3.What do you think about very often?
Disturbia : Rihanna
Ironically, I always listen to this song when I’m frustrated, depressed, or confused. True shit.

4. What is 2+2?
Go hard : Dj Khaled, T-Pain, Kanye West…
I coulda sworn it was 4 tho…oh well moving along .

5.What do you think of your friends?
A Little bit cooler : The Cool Kids
Lmaooo, my friends are a lil bit cooler then the rest !

6.What do you think of the person you like?
London Girls : Kid Cudi
Okay by the title alone this doesn’t make sense…
But later on in the song he says …
“She was the cutest, swag was the truest…honest to the core, I need amour”
Change the “she” to “He” && I would say this was true. Lol.

7. What is your life story?
Freeze : T-Pain
Uhhh I disagree . lmao .

8.What do you want to be when you grow up?
Single Ladies (Put a ring on it) : Beyonce
Single…no. With a ring on it ?? uhh yeah !

9.What do you think when you see the person you like?
Kill The Lights : Britney Spears
I suppose my freaky side thinks that…lmao .

10.What do your parents think of you?
Love Lockdown : Kanye West
I have no clue…maybe they not lovin me the way they wanted to .

11.What will you dance to at your wedding?
Pop Champagne Remix : Jim Jones, Ron Browz, Juelz Santana
Lmaooo…that’s all I gotta say.
That will be definitely be a celebration, so I think that song is appropriate.

12. What will they play at your funeral?
Brooklyn we go hard : Jay-Z feat. Santogold
Ehhh, I doubt it…but the background music is kinda melancholy (during the chorus), so maybe the instrumental version lol.

13. What is your hobby/interest?
Chasing Pavements : Adele
Lol, verbally that does sound like hobby.
Metaphorically, that is totally true..

14. What is your biggest secret?
Ringleader Man : T-Pain
Umm wtf ? idk .

15. What do you think of boys?
Is There Any Love : Kid Cudi && Wale
lol, i think dudes are the more romantic sex actually .

16. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Breakin Dishes : Rihanna
Lmao. I hope not.
“Im gonna fight a man tonight” I highly doubt I’ll ever do that .
But as far as cheating goes, that is pretty bad .

17.How will you die?
Dead && Gone : T.I. feat Justin Timberlake
Whoa…too crazy that the song actually has dead in the title…

18. What makes you laugh?
Love Hangover : Kidz in the Hall feat. Estelle
Lmaoo, sure.
I think the intro is funny, lol.
But I don’t think there’s anything comical bout a hangover .

19.What makes you cry?
Man on the Moon : Kid Cudi
Yeah that song is pretty deep . i could see it bringing tears .


20. Will you ever get married?
Change : T-Pain feat Diddy…
Is that a yes ?? lmao . I have no clue .
Diddy: “For you I’ll change the world….you showed me how to love again”
I think that’s a yes. Lmao .

21. What scares you the most?
Say You Will : Kanye West
I totally agree ! Being lead on is totally scary.
Who wants to be in a one sided affair ?
"Don’t say you will unless you will…but I pray you will"...

22. Does anyone like you?
I wonder : Kanye West
Damn, my iTunes doesn’t even know…
But I could take it for what it says…
“I’ve been waitin on this my whole life, these dreams be wakin me up at nite”
Perhaps he’s somewhere thinkin of me…lol

23. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
Porn star : T.I.
Lmao…I was never a porn star.


24. What hurts right now?
Womanizer : Britney Spears
hmm, idk -shrug-

26. What will you post this as?
Patron : Sean Garrett

Man && Wife

No Fresh Prince, just Man && Wife tonight. These two are so funny && Shonda is beautiful. && this nigga Fatman Scoop has on heels walking around like a damn ostrich. I'm sure his ankles are quivering, lol. He said walking in heels would be easy...he's a damn fool. lmao. back to my programing...<333

G1 Phone

okay...a) i'm not late. I know this phone came out in October, && i've always liked it. But now i HAVE to HAVE it. Asked Joseph aka Father if he could get me this for christmas. Him being an oldhead and all doesn't understand why a phone costs $179 . Like that's all i want ! Why you gotta question me? Can u just get it for me, lol. I could always get a job && get it for myself. but i NEED this phone. Especially with the big crack going down the center of my LCD on the phone i have now courtesy of Erica. But she is only 25% to blame. NOKiA is 75% to blame for making their phones so cheap. Don't buy Nokia folks ! I never will again .

poetry ..

Aaaaah ! new at this ...
but here goes .
It's entitled "Virgo" btw.

There’s a simmering sensuality, underneath eyes
A tormenting duality of his beautiful mind
Left brain against right brain
His thoughts tussle back and forth
And I try to do my best to read
His argumentative thought process
Underneath a striking smile he hides
Hoops of fire, grand 50 foot brick walls
Two carnivorous guard dogs with slapping jaws to crush
&& I want to get thru, but this girl ain’t no Hercules
Inside his mind a chaotic battle brews
That even 300 spartans can’t claim victorious
Simple language isn’t something this man is fluent in
He likes words in motion, a beautiful poetry
Of which I do not speak
I speak the truth but there’s no game sliding thru
These lips of pink and purity
Memories of absurd rejections and past
Plays run through my mind
All the rules I broke
despite the rules of the coach
Resulting in a penalty for me
&& out the game I go
There’s something to this man that I can’t figure out
But it’s the same something that makes
Me want to hold on to this man
Is it the unattainable majesty of this king before me?
And your highness can I please lay my head
Upon your brooding chest and feel your hand
Lay softly on my back
Can I be but your Queen
At my most ambitious of thoughts
Or maybe even your Court Jester
At the chance that my lips
disembark from the pit of your abdomen, laughter
Knowing that I led you to this happiness
Is a gift that I’ll forever cherish
And although I cant place my finger
On the point of where you stole my heart
I believe it began
When you decided that you wanted me too
But of course your difficult mind
Won’t let you surrender to this sweet affair
That you secretly want and crave
Cause in your delicate masculinity
Ego thin as paper, easy to tear to shreds
The thought of purging in sin
Against your pure nature
Purely perforates me
But what’s worse is I know
That it tears you apart just the same
So until you’re willing to let me in
I must walk away from my distant desires
In the hopes that one day
Instead of further chasing me away
You’ll chase me back towards your heart
And there I shall forever stay .

*people aren't going to believe me, but the inspiration for this poem was i was reading mini profiles about astrological signs and the virgo one came off as the most frustrating. I've also dated a few virgos as well as some of my friends && they are frustrating. Oh && my father is a virgo, so many things inspired this. but i hope u all find it interesting...*

i also wrote a haiku on thanksgiving...

homework makes me puke.
it makes me want to vomit.
especially, math.

( that one is just a tad less complex...but i believe that elementary schoolers everywhere can agree .)

Blur .

everybody already knows that i am a fan of B. Spears...but i love this song, lmao. Many drunk, fucked up nights && u wake up and have no idea what happened the night before. Your friends can't remember what they did, but remember all the stupid shit you did && give u a play by play. good times :) im guessin that she hooked up w/ some dude in this song though && feelin some kind of regret about it. I've never, EVER, been that damn drunk, but this song gave me a happy feeling. I don't think it's a happy song though...but i recommend Circus to any && every girl out there. Britney's been thru it, so i know she's bout to say some truth :)

i'm a grown ass kid .

slow afternoon, so i'm spending it watchin none other than the great Spongebob Squarepants. Its an episode about patrick && spongebob have beef w/ some underwater Neanderthals. && then iono Patrick gets a papercut && some mo shit...lol who knows. but yeah just keeping posted.

lonely loner seems to free her mind @ night .

This is a blog, so i guess i can 'ahem', blog for once. At 4:35 a girl can't get any sleep, && the shit is getting old. Just listening to this music that i can't get enough of...for one Kanye West's 808s and heartbreak like there are no words to describe. Its very rare that i can listen to a cd, STRAiGHT THRU on the first listen !! Like do u realize how monumental that is?? Usually i will listen to a song till i get a good feel for it, but these songs are so great that i just played it right through. Wow, this man is truly a genius...&& of course there's already haters. "Auto-tune is wack" ... "It's not hip-hop"... "He can't sing"...and blahhh blahh blahhhhhhh...First of all Auto tune isn't wack. I can understand the whole thought of its getting played out cause everybody is using the shit, so i can see where it would get annoying. But Kanye does everything sooo different from the next dude that you can't even compare his shit to when weezy uses it, or if T-Pain uses it. I don't care what anybody says, this album is going down in history like "Reasonable Doubt", "All Eyez on Me", and "Thriller". I love all the songs on the album, and while my least favorite is Bad News, i still love it to death. I will say though that 'Say You Will' was the perfect intro for this album. With the "heart monitor" like beeps throughout the beat and the 808's...it perfectly set the tone for what Ye was trying to accomplish. And he accomplished it well, and i don't understand how anyone could front on this album, but there's always a hater, so that doesn't surprise me, the album is an 'acquired' taste if you will && only sophisticated minds would understand.

Moving along though...so i was supposed to be studying for this stat test, but miserably failed. I love school, && i feel blessed to be here, but it's getting so tired. I either need a break or something totally new...i just can't wait for exam week to be over so i can have a month to renew so i can actually miss this place...wooommmmmmmmpppppp !

So i have been listening to nothing but Kid Cudi, Drake, and Kanye all day w/ the occasional Lady Gaga that i fit in, lol. Kid Cudi is amazing. Ironically this dude performed at my school some weeks back && it was the damned concert posters that even led me to google him, && i actually love him now, but did i go to the FREE concert. Nope sure didn't, but it wasn't like i had anything to lose. I don't think i'll be passing up anymore free shows. && in all honesty, i didn't think i'd be blown away by him. I got into The Cool Kids at the start of the year and while i really liked them i didn't connect with them like that. So then my friend Scoo-bay-bay was in my room playin some song...and as soon as i heard it i thought it sounded good so i peeped my screen && it was none other than Kid Cudi's "Day and Night"... i liked the lyrics, the style, the beat, the connection the entire song led me to download it immediately. Then i saw that he put out a mixtape last July && downloaded the whole thing. I can't wait till he puts out an official LP, i just hope he doesn't get caught up in the mainstream hype. But he's definitely someone who will be getting my support...i woulda bought the mixtape, if that was even possible. Then upon downloading that and doing further research he gets influenced by "Tribe Called Quest", "Coldplay", and "Pharcyde"...are you kidding me? Cudi is officially a beast...now lets go ask Ace Hood, Lil Wayne, or DJ Khaled who influences them...lmao.

&& The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air never gets old. Although i know like every single word to each episode, i still continue to watch. I need to buy the seasons so i can have it whenever i want to watch, because staying up past 2AM just so i can catch Fresh Prince of Bel Air is played...but it is my guilty pleasure.

But sayonara...im going to go to sleep now...or at least put down this hunk of metal distraction...besides my lap is on fire anyway. Nite nite.<333